Bear-den, Home-invasion Porridge

My grandpa Frank used to tell me the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. As much as I loved attention from Grandpa, I never understood what was so special about “porridge” (essentially boiled oats) that it would lead anyone into a bear-den to burglarize a food supply. Anytime I had eaten oats(or more appropriately, been “force-fed”), they had been globby, gloppy masses of unidentifiable cereal-like substance. It was always….nutritious.

In my recent experiments with Irish oats, I have noticed potential in their chewy texture and slightly nutty flavor. Some experiments worked but were uninspiring, and others were just plain awful. So before I relegate the Irish oat can to the deep, dark recesses of my pantry, never to be seen or heard from again, I felt it appropriate to give them one last chance at redemption. After all, Goldilocks got to sample three bowls of “porridge” before she got busted by the rightly indignant bears, so I’d try three attempts before moving on to higher culinary ground. This called for assistance from some culinary heavyweight champions; butter, brown sugar, milk, and raisins for backup.

Melting some butter in a saucier, I thought it would be a good idea to “toast” the oats to develop some more of that nutty flavor I had liked from last time. So this I did, and once my keen olfactory sensors detected the smell of nuts and butter in the air, I then added raisins and some water and let the oats cook at a simmer, until they were ready for the next additions.

Once the oats were ready (al dente, you could say), I added in a tablespoon of brown sugar, some freshly ground cinnamon, and some whole milk for a velvety consistency. Once everything was combined, I garnished it with a couple strawberries and somewhat nervously sat down at my table with my porridge.

I will never think about “oatmeal” the same way again. This was a far cry from the pasty bowl’o’doom oatmeal I was forced to choke down in my youth. These oats were fantastic, in fact, if it were being served in a formal setting, you could get away quite easily in describing it as a sweet breakfast risotto! The oats were creamy, yet held a nice texture that actually required some chewing (think about it, when was the last time you HAD to really “chew” oatmeal?). Toasting the oats really did intensify their flavor, which balanced perfectly with the brown sugar and raisins so that it was in the forefront of flavor, but not overpowering like brown rice might be. The butter and the milk made for a sleek and velvety flavor delivery system. Oh yes, this was a very hearty bowl of breakfast porridge, and saved my Irish oats from the dungeon of my pantry.

Now with this new perspective, I can see what would drive little Goldilocks to a life of crime. Home-invasion, burglary, and evading arrest is a big-rap sheet for such a young one, but if the Bear’s porridge was anything like this one, I can completely understand why poor Goldilocks was driven to brave the dangers of a bear den.
488 recipes to go!